hAuntZ

I woke up in a cold sweat, heartbroke and hungry. Six months and still no sign of relief.

The dreams didn’t help. Wet ones by way of past flames, both sexual and mournful.

The couch in my den, littered with sleepingbags, has begun to take it’s toll on my back. The pain doesn’t help.

It took hours roaming around the cabin to find solace in the day. Every cigarette smoked was a cautionary tale. It was warm and gloomy and I had nothing to look forward to.

The Internet just shut off. Just as well, could use the footwork to check in at the local coffee shop.. A Starbucks. I have the option of a mama buzz like cafe and environment in Jobot, yet, I have nothing to offer my community yet. So I remain in the dismal heartland.

I grabbed a guitar.

All those false starts were not in vain.

I put down the guitar.

Here they are again.

I’m not looking for closure in Oakland, I’m looking for rebirth. And that scares me the most. I don’t know if I can adapt so easily. So easily without her in the same city, I suppose.

I must remember the music and the writing. I’m out here, without, for a reason.

I promise.